ANTI!
by Xenos3421
Summary: This fic goes out to all those people who just loathe yaoi fics. WARNIG OOC ness is off the chart.


Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. Okay. GOOD  
  
Authors notes: First off, I'm a freshman in high school with a shitty English grade so don't expect a masterpiece, I'm just pissed of at all these yaoi fics that have been round lately. Second. THIS IS AN ANTI YAOI FIC!!!!! I hate yaoi so if you're in for a gay yaoi fic go some place else!! You're not welcome here! Next, for this chapter I set things in an AU, Kaworu still alive but not an angel boy. Asuka, yeah she's still sane. Rie, emotionless as always, and the others you'll just have to see for yourselves. By the way, this first seen is set up like a Shounin Ai.  
  
Now, on to the festivities, enjoy!  
  
ANTI Yaoi: First battle: Breaking the chains that bind us.  
  
Today was good. Shinji sat on the couch staring at the stars, through the window in the Katsuragi apartment. Nothing bad had happened for once Asuka stopped bugging him, no traumatic things had happened. And now, his day is perfect. Kaworu, gracefully, made his way into the room.  
  
"Hello, Shinji." Kaworu greeted sitting next to Shinji.  
  
"Hi." Shinji replied staring into Kaworu's crimson eyes. "You are so beautiful."  
  
Kaworu laughed a bit. "Yes, and what are you going to do about it?"  
  
"."  
  
"Do you want to kiss me?" Kaworu asked  
  
Shinji blushed and looked away. "Um.I guess so."  
  
"All right then."  
  
Shinji turned to face Kaworu and inched closer to his face. Closer and closer then.  
  
SNAP  
  
Something snapped in Shinji and then he stopped.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Shinji backed off "This is wrong." Shinji stated. "This is very WRONG."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Look," Shinji reached under the sofa cushion and found and script. "Let's see, 'Hi.beautiful.kiss me.lean over and kiss Kaworu.' THAT'S IT!!!!" Shinji pointed to the 'kiss Kaworu' part. "This is where it goes wrong."  
  
"Let me see." Kaworu takes a look. "And?"  
  
"Kaworu don't you get it!! We're in a YAOI fic." Shinji declared.  
  
"NO." Kaworu said with a lisp.  
  
"Yeah we are."  
  
"I'm home." Asuka called out.  
  
Shinji jumped up. "Asuka! You're never going to believe this."  
  
"What?" Asuka asked with fake enthusiasm.  
  
"We're in a YAOI fic!!!!"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So you and queer bait here fuck yet?"  
  
"NO!! I'm not gay!!" Shinji defended.  
  
"Yeah, and I love the pu-tang pie!" Kaworu defended.  
  
"Sure ya' do." Asuka paused "So why is it that I see you going to the gay health spas all the time?"  
  
"I DO NOT!!" Kaworu yelled, "I'm not GAY!!!"  
  
Kaworu turned and ran out an open window.  
  
"Great, now another one of my friends killed themselves." Shinji looked spitefully at Asuka "Stop doing that."  
  
"What?" Asuka asked grabbing a soda from the fridge. "All I did was point out his gayness."  
  
"You know what, I'm tired of always having to be put in this homo role! I'm going to end ALL of this now!"  
  
Shinji ran into the kitchen and grabbed the biggest sharpest knife he could find and held it menacingly. He chuckled a few times as Asuka backed away a little. Shinji raised the knife high over his head and swiped at the air He was rewarded by five plucking noises.  
  
"I did it!!" Shinji yelled, "I'm free!"  
  
"Free from what?" Asuka asked.  
  
"The strings that bind me to this fic!"  
  
"Right."  
  
Shinji stared mockingly at Asuka. "Come here."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Just come here I need to show you something," Shinji paused "In my room."  
  
"Anata Baka! Do you think I'd fall for that you hentai?"  
  
"Well, yes."  
  
Asuka walked off not saying anything. Leaving a now liberated Shinji to himself.  
  
"Why does she still not like me?" Shinji thought, "I know, I may have gotten free of the Yaoi world but I have forsaken my friends and family!" Shinji revised his thoughts "check that just friends, I have no family. Okay so if I free my friends and destroy the order of yaoi writers.Asuka will like me! Yes that's the ticket.. Note to self never say that in public."  
  
With his mind clear, a revised, Shinji Ikari sets out on a new epic quest. What kinds of adventures will our hero brave, what kind of queers must e defeat, and who will help him? I don't know and I'm the author!! I mean, you'd think I'd know these things, right?  
  
END  
  
People Saved Shinji Ikari  
  
Characters killed Kaworu Negisa  
  
People killed 0  
  
Author's rambling: Well that's all for now, please review this how you see fit. I LOVE THE REVIEWS!! Anyway, I have no problem with Kaworu he just had to die, I might revive him ya' never know. Oh yeah I NEED PRE READERS!!!! PLEASE anyone you can please drop me a line at Xenos3421@hotmail.com That's all. Well see you all on the other side of the morphine hill. Bye bye. 


End file.
